Reading

October 5, 2008

I have been reading a lot lately. One of my 2^nd degree requirements I came up with was to read the 100 best novels of all time (modern library list). Master Brinker pointed out that this was unrealistic in the time I had left until I was eligible for grading. I hadn’t done the math; it worked out to be about a book every 4 days, so I narrowed it down to 30. I am just now starting “To the Light House,” book number 7. So far I have read: The Great Gatspy, A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man, The Sound and the Fury, The Grapes of Wrath, 1984, Animal farm and Heart of Darkness. These were all fantastic books but some left a bigger impression on me than others.

My favorite book so far is John Steinbeck’s “The Grapes of Wrath”. Nothing else in my life has made me understand poverty, despair, and determination to survive like this book has. The novel takes place during the great depression and follows the Joad family and their migration to California in hopes of finding a better life. The Joad family, and thousands of other families, are forced off their farmland because of drought and bankruptcy. They have no money, no place to stay, and no way of sustaining their life where they are. With nothing but hope, they leave to California in search of work. Their journey is filled with tragedy and despair but the resolve of the family is amazing. They never do give up hope, even when things are at their worst.

It was hard to put down this book. The plight of the Joads kept me on edge and I would often wonder how they were doing when the book was down. I would be going about my day and suddenly a fear would take me;

“Did their jalopy finally die out?”

“Do they have enough money to make it?”

“Will Roseofsharon’s baby be all right?”

I honestly lost sleep over their car and its rattling. Once while I was eating breakfast, I looked at my cereal and pondered whether the box would last the week and what I would do when it was gone. No other book has immersed me to the point where I feel like I’m there with the characters.

The novel seems even more relevant right now with our current economic troubles. As the world economy seems to fall apart I worry for the first time about my financial future. My plan (The one I came up with after high school and a few months of traveling. The big “what are you going to do with your life,” plan.) was to be out of school by now and in a stable, well paid career. I wanted to work for a big company like Fortis as an electrical technician. Life doesn’t always work out as planned though and I now find myself in career limbo. I’m working at the same place I have worked at for the past few years. I’ve always thought of it as a fallback job but it seems to keep drawing me back. There is only so much room for advancement and I will have to move onto something better to achieve the life style I want.

I would like to go back to school and finish my program but I don’t know if I can now. I don’t know if I would be willing to make the necessary sacrifices. I seem to be busier all the time, mostly with Kung Fu, and I have more financial burdens than before. Student loans never look scary when you’re thinking about how much money you’ll be making after graduation but when you don’t graduate and you still have the loans, its scary thinking about taking out more. It’s funny; I always thought I would be alright no matter what. If I ever fell on hard times I could take out some loans or borrow money and pay them back later. But now I am paranoid about going through a second depression and having everything blow up in my face.

I’m hoping that times can’t ever reach anything as bad as the great depression of the 30’s. Right now the economic turmoil hasn’t become personal for me. It’s a big monster everyone’s talking about but hard to take as seriously until it actually sinks its fangs into me. I am concerned but not disheartened. I am confident in my abilities and deep down I know I will be alright. I am not destined to work at Pals Surveys and rent forever.