Time

Time is fickle, seemingly lopsided on the scales more often than not; it seems I always have too much or not enough. I rarely have the right amount of time for things. I suppose that’s just a matter of perspective and planning. We actually have all the time in the world for most things but rarely realize this until it’s too late. Procrastination destroys a lot of my time, which is a terrible; time is one of the most valuable things I possess.

It’s easy to ignore the time you’re given until its too late and in the face of failure say, “Oh! But I didn’t have enough time!” Obviously there are things out of our control, where we can earnestly blame the universe, but more often than not we have only ourselves to blame. I have much respect for those that live in the moment and make the most of time. To live wholly in the present and enjoy each and every moment as if it’s your last… this is incredibly hard to achieve but I think it’s something to strive for.

I may be exaggerating a bit; we do need to think of the future to make progress. We do need goals and things to strive for, long term pleasures, things above simple physical and mental pleasures. Some of the greatest satisfaction can come from years of effort and we need a bit of pain to make pleasure stand out all the brighter. One should try to enjoy the journey as much as possible without letting the destination consume you but also try not to forget the destination and risk losing your path while distracted by the scenery.

They aren’t kidding about the hot in Hot Yoga

I have slowly realized that many of my weaknesses and flaws with technique in kung fu can be traced to inflexibility in my calves. I often feel tightness in the back of my legs, from the knees down, while doing many exercises. A simple example is bending down to touch my toes, the pull in my calves is what limits me and I feel them staining more than anything. On my last hiking trip I felt weakness and stiffness in my calves and nowhere else. I believe this inflexibility is also responsible for the poor flexibility in my ankles when trying to pull my toes back or forward.

It took me much too long to realize this but at least I now have something I to work on so I can improve a range of problems I’ve been having. One of my self chosen goals for the UBBT was to work on improving the strength, flexibility and technique of my horse stance. To do that I’ll have to improve flexibility in my lower legs. I went to a hot yoga class tonight and learned some useful stretches. It was only the second time I’ve gone to a hot yoga class but I am going to try and go more often. It’s a fantastic workout and it’s perfect for improving flexibility, plus it’s a blast, in the o god this hurts, I’m going to pass out from the heat, kind of way. I find it hilarious that the bathing suit I wore and the towel I laid on were so completely saturated with sweat that they’d probably dry off if I tossed them into a swimming pool.

I’m going to develop a daily stretching routine focusing mainly on my legs and hips. I’m hoping this will help me improve a wide range of techniques.

The Times they are A-Changing

36 days until I start school. It hasn’t really sunk in yet. Calm before the storm I guess, I’m not panicking yet. I’ve already started making a few necessary sacrifices and they’ll be more to follow. I traded my beloved Mitsubishi Lancer in for a much less exciting Dodge Caravan. I’ll save a lot of money in insurance and car payments now but no longer can I sail down Groat Road doing 90km with Daft Punk blasting from the mp3 CD player.

I’ll be moving to another place soon and I’m a bit excited about that, even with the flak I’m getting from my parents about it, since it’s a bit more expensive and further from school than where I am now. School is going to be my number one priority for two years; I’m going to do it right this time. Kung Fu has been my number one priority for seven years and it hurt me the last time I was in school, I don’t regret a thing about it but this time it’ll have to come second. On that note I may have to stop teaching my class on Mondays and Wednesdays. We’ll see how it goes and how much spare time I’ll have. I’ll have to give it up if I should be home studying. Ugh I’m going to have no life for two years but it’s all in the name of progress!

Away

It’s been awhile since I’ve made a journal entry. I’ve been very busy the past couple weeks and haven’t found time to stay on track. I’m writing this on a laptop in a hotel room in Fairview after working 13 hours. Over the past 10 days I’ve been home for 3 of them. I was in Calgary last weekend and in Jasper for most of last week on vacation. I got home at 7:30 last night and left for Fairview this morning at 6am, I won’t be back before Thursday. My Jasper vacation was a blast but I’m not happy to be out of town working right now, I feel like I’m falling behind in things and I can’t teach my class.

Being away from home for awhile and it being under varying circumstances (party pleasure, nature vacation and work) has made me think about routine and free time. My routine has been completely broken and I haven’t been contributing much towards a few UBBT goals. I could be making better use of my free time, I haven’t been completely wasting it at least, but being out of routine has been making certain things difficult, like pushups. I could be doing pushups right now in the hotel room but I don’t feel like queering out my co-worker right now and explaining everything, I’ll probably end up doing it tomorrow anyway though.

I think a person can learn a lot about themselves and their work ethic when they’re forced out of their element. Getting put into different situations and experiencing different things can be healthy. It throws new perspective on everything and forces you it break form. This is what I really like about traveling, the way it forces you into dealing with life directly and without the ties that can often hold you down from habit. Seeing if you can still maintain your focus and work ethic under completely different perspectives can be very interesting.

Lazy Sunday

Sundays are my days of rest, my mini vacations each week where I set aside what business I can and dedicate the day to relaxing and recharging my batteries. I wouldn’t have it any other way, I love having a day dedicated to doing whatever I bloody well feel like doing. Sundays are almost always the days where I have the most free time available but I’m probably less productive, speaking in the sense of “forward progress” type activities, on Sundays than any other day of the week and I don’t feel even a bit guilty about it. So I often spend a lot of time on Sunday’s reading, playing games, watching movies or hanging out with friends.

I’ve noticed that if I spend too much time reading or playing games I reach a strange state of mind. I kind of get sucked into whatever I’ve been doing and confuse it with reality. I’m not speaking psychosis style, “I CAN’T TELL WHATS REAL OR NOT” state but I become withdrawn and reflective with my brain chugging away over this or that, mostly over fluff that has no bearing on anything I’m doing, and kind of zone out and lose awareness of the present. When I’m in this mood I feel half awake and unmotivated to do much but sit around, it takes a healthy dose of exposure to other people to snap me out of it. To others I appear unhappy and quiet. While certainly quieter on Sundays I’m certainly not unhappy, I’m usually just in a hazy state of contentment and indifference so if you see me and want to wake me up just be friendly and boisterous.

I bring this up because I had a very laid back day at work today and read for about four hours. Now all I can think about is stowing away on trains, the importance of self conduct and beautiful, wealthy merchant’s daughters (especially the later). In short, I’m a bit spaced. I think this takes away from the rest of my day so I’m beginning to think I should try to avoid putting myself in this state. Strategy video games are the worst for this, a couple hours of Empire: Total War later and all day, no matter what I’m doing, I’m constantly planning the next conquest or expansion of my Swedish empire while maintain a general instinct to distrust Russia. Everything in moderation eh?

Procrastination

I can be really lazy in stupid ways for no reason. It’s funny how I can be working by butt off everyday doing things for the UBBT and yet I always seem to neglect housework. Both simple and important things get put off randomly for no good reason. For instance I took forever to apply to school, with the risk of not getting in, but I applied for grants in the same day I got in. I’ve been meaning to buy a few reusable bags from the Kwoon but I can never seem to remember to follow through.

I may drop everything on a dime to plan a trip to the mountains but I wait three weeks to deposit a check at the bank. I bought curtains a year ago, hung one of them and haven’t bought a rod for the other one yet so I’m using a sheet. There’s no rhyme or reason to the way I neglect some things but not others, I don’t think interest in whatever the activity is matters so much. Maybe I’ll figure it out sometime, till then I should try to stop being so stupid.