Campbell’s Soup Comin’ Right Up

I had a small epiphany today. I realized I want to be an artist. I practice martial arts, which is most defiantly an expression of art, but I’m talking about a more classical sense of art. Specifically, I want to draw. I’m not saying I have grand dreams of quitting my job and becoming a full time artist. I have no delusions about becoming rich and famous, going down in the history books as the greatest artist of the 21^st century. I want to become a casual artist, an amateur artist that does it for the love of doing it, going home in the evening to create a picture instead of watching one.

This isn’t a sudden impulse from out of nowhere. It’s not like I’ve only drawn stick men my whole life and suddenly I think I have talent. If I could go back in time to alter a direction in my life, not counting silly things like asking that girl out a week sooner, I would take art classes in school and pursue my artistic talent. Not pursuing my drawing ability is one of my biggest regrets. I can’t play a musical instrument or sing to save my life but I always could draw.

I feel I should elaborate: I am not amazing at drawing, I can’t whip up a lifelike portrait on a whim but I feel with practice I could. I do have some natural talent. Ever since I was young I’ve liked to draw for fun. I used to get home from school and draw for hours; I liked making pictures based on the fantasy books I read. I came up with some good stuff for my age and throughout school, whenever a project required some artistic skills, myself and another friend were always the ones picked to do the job. For some reason, I never took art in school. I’m still kicking myself for that, I’m sure I could have learned a lot.

I can recall four things I’ve made that I’m really proud of; a portrait of another classmate I made in forth grade that myself and my teacher were surprised to find fairly accurate, a stipple portrait I made in high school, a landscape I did at work while I had a couple hours to fill, and my kung fu banner for black belt. I drew the landscape on the back of a long piece of graph paper and used a mechanical pencil. I was just messing around for a couple hours but it turned out pretty nice and the guy I was with put it in the job file with his notes for fun. Every now and then someone at work comes by and says, “Hey I saw your picture, all I can draw are stick men.”

At some point along the line I stopped drawing for fun. I would dabble now and then, having a blast doing so, but those were rare occasions where other people required me to draw. This has been in the back of my mind for a long time. A couple years ago I felt the urge to reunite with my old friend and I even bought a few books on drawing techniques. It didn’t catch though and I stopped again, mostly because I was frustrated with my lack of practice and general knowledge of the art. Since then it’s been a voice hiding in my subconscious, growing louder and louder as time passes.

Lately I’ve been thinking a lot about artists and their art. I finished reading “A Passage to India,” today and the ending was a catalyst for this realization. I really liked how poor Doctor Aziz decides to leave behind his good job and friends to move into the jungle so that he can write poetry and be at peace.

I’ve really come to respect and admire artist’s abilities. I think it’s very noble to express yourself through the creation of something beautiful. It’s a very simple concept but very few people actually do this. So lately I’ve found myself enamored with the concept of “being” and artist. I think the term “artist” can apply to anyone, as long as you are creating something you’re passionate about, and it’s a routine part of your life, I think you’ve earned the title.

I’m going to start drawing again. This isn’t like the other couple of times I’ve thought of doing it, something’s clicked and I feel like it’s important. I’m going to start small and see where it goes. It should be a great challenge, I feel less frustrated with my inexperience and excited about developing my skills. I want to be serious about it and I’d love to reach the point where I could put on a show or actually sell art. It would be fantastic to be able to make some money on the side doing something I would do for free.

I figured I’d end this with one of my favorite anecdotes about art. In the introduction of one of his books, my favorite cartoonist Berkeley Breathed (Bloom County: The best comic strip ever), said his interest began in elementary school art class. For one of his projects he drew an astronaut in space, leaving out a head, filled his mouth with red poster paint and spewed it where the head should be. This gave the picture a fantastically exaggerated head explosion. Upon presenting this picture to his art teacher her response was,

“It’s awful; you’re going to be famous.”

I’ve always liked that art teacher.

Ow! My Wallet Hurts!

Awhile back I wrote about my concern of our current economic trouble. I said that it had me worried but I hadn’t been personally affected by it. We’ll now I have. I work as a Land Surveyor and work has been very slow lately. In the past month the company I work for has laid off around 15 people and we are now working with a skeleton crew. I think I’m pretty safe from layoffs but you never know. I’ve been working shorter hours and its scary seeing an empty work week schedule.

I’m worrying about the slow trickle of work, hoping it doesn’t run dry completely. If it does I’d have to find another job fast and it’s not the best time to be looking. It’s unsettling to think how I’m one or two paychecks away from going broke. I know I’m not the only one in this boat, these days people seem to be racking up debt like crazy. It’s been too easy to get loans these past few years. If a bank offers to give you a whole bunch of money and says, “You don’t have to spend it, it’s just there if you need it,” you suddenly find more things you need.

It’s easy to overstretch yourself if you can’t resist temptation. I know a guy at work who just moved in with his girlfriend; they bought a house, a large motor home and a new jeep. They had no down payments saved and they both make around $23 an hour. They are doing everything on credit; I honestly can’t see how they manage it.

Are we all getting a bit too comfortable with our lifestyles? Do we really need to have all the toys? My vice happens to be video games and my computer. I’ve been trying not to waste so much money on them these days but my wallet feels just as light. It’s tough to live a simpler lifestyle.

The trouble at work has further reinforced my desire to go back to school. I’m not going anywhere at work and its pretty much a dead end job at this point. I’ve been sitting on the fence with school because I don’t have any money saved for it and I’m still paying off student loans from before. I would probably have to move back to my parents for school to save money too and I’ve grown accustomed to living in Edmonton. I don’t think I’ll take out any loans to stay in Edmonton though; I don’t want to bury myself in dept.

So, I’m going to go back to N.A.I.T and finish the program I was taking. The semester starts in September so the UBBT will almost be finished, I shouldn’t be as busy soon after. The Electrical Engineering Technologies program I was taking is a three year program crammed into two; it moves very fast and requires lots of work. This time around it’s going to be my number one priority. Everything else will have to take a backseat.

The last time around; Kung Fu and my black belt testing was my number one priority. This took its toll; I didn’t pass all my classes and couldn’t get into the third semester. I don’t regret it. If I could go back in time I’d do the exact same thing. The way I look at is, I invested five years of hard work up to the point of grading and if I had dropped my intensity there, who knows when I’d be ready again. School is only two years and I can always go back.

I’ve made my mind up about going back. I want to graduate and get into a stable, well paying career. My Kung Fu and all other aspects of my life could benefit enormously from it.

Blogging & Yawning

It’s week three of the UBBT and things are going fairly well. My pushups and sit-ups are all over the place, I’m doing anywhere from 100-300 everyday depending on how much free time I have. I’m well ahead in that department and I think it’s the easiest goal so far. I’m finding the hardest part about the sit-ups now is rug burn on my tailbone and back from doing so many.

I was using my elliptical machine almost every day in December but I find it more comfortable now to run twice the distance every second day. I think I get more out of it by running longer distances on nights I don’t have class.

Of all the requirements on the list I was worried about the sparring one the most because it relies on other people. I decided to shorten the 1000 matches to 500 to make it more feasible. That works out to around 10 matches a week, so far so good. I’ve started to grab people for sparring after class or during open training.

The trickiest goal so far is the 1000 random acts of kindness. Some days are easy to get a bunch done and others I completely forget about it and don’t get anything done. I’ve been trying to figure out what counts as a random act of kindness, is it things I normally wouldn’t do? Can it be basically any nice gesture? I haven’t been counting things I do all the time like opening doors for people or letting someone in during traffic because I’d be doing it regardless of the UBBT. Sometimes at the end of a day, trying to come up with an act, I resort to using Facebook to compliment people on things.

I’ve got two acts of kindness that I’m proud of.

#1: I jumped out of my car at a red light to tell the guy in the truck ahead of me that his back tire was dangerously low.

#2: I witnessed a minor car accident while shoveling my driveway. Both cars stopped so I figured the drivers would sort it out, I went back to shoveling, glancing up now and then to see what was going on. After a few minutes the car in the back, the one that had rear ended the other car, suddenly took off. I crossed the street to see if the woman in the other car was fine and to offer her my name and number as a witness to the hit and run.

I’m especially proud of the tire one because it’s very simple and people usually don’t go to such lengths to help anyone on the road. Most of the time we just think, “That guys got a low tire, well it’s his problem,” I think it’s a good example of a simple change in thinking that can really help everyone around you. Maybe the guy will be inspired to do the same thing for another motorist down the road, and he’s not just a danger to himself but anyone around him if he has a blowout.

I’ve looked into some gyms and private lessons for my agility goal. I wanted to start right away but its competition time and it’s hard to get private lessons from a coach. I gave them my name and number and the gym will call me if anyone has an opening. I was going to go on Tuesdays but I’m going to start going to San Shou every now and then (to get more grappling time in) so I think Thursday nights will be the best.

I’ve slowed down reading lately but I’m already getting back into it. I finished a couple more books over my Christmas holidays and then took a week off. I got three more books from the library and I’m now reading “A Passage to India”.

I am feeling kind of lousy today and hoping I’m not coming down with anything. I hurt my wrist somehow and I have no energy. Days like today are ones were I have a very hard time motivating myself to do anything at all (I haven’t done anything at all today). I worry about days like these but every now and then I’m going to take a day off, I just have to make sure I stay ahead and don’t develop any bad habits.

She Thinks she’s The Passionate One

Dear Diary: what should I write about today? It’s a quiet Sunday. I woke up at 11:30, ate breakfast, watched the last half of a movie I started last night, did some pushups/sit-ups and forms, sat down at my desk and contemplated what to do with my day. Ah! I haven’t made a journal entry yet! Ok let’s do that. Hmmmm, now what do I want to write about… (10 minutes pass) I know! I’ll read some other journal entries by my fellow black belts for inspiration. It’s now 2:30 and I have some random stuff I feel like putting down on paper.

First off, I’m going to start reading other peoples blogs more often. I mean wow! I just read a bunch of extremely powerful, personal and motivational journal entries. I admit I don’t read other peoples blogs very frequently but I feel like I’ve missed out on a lot. Good work everyone! Reading about other people’s struggles, ideas, life… whatever really, and the more personal it is the better it is, helps put my own life into perspective (I have no idea if I’m misusing commas). It can help you look at aspects of your life from a different angle.

I just did 50 pushups and sit-ups between paragraphs. Oh, and a rep of Kempo. (Why does spell check tell me to put a hyphen in sit-ups but not pushups?)

Secondly, before I read the blogs, I thought I might write about a conversation I had with someone last week. I met this person for coffee, we’d only met once before and fairly briefly. We had a good converstion, talked a bit about everything. At one point the conversation shifted to books because I asked about the one they had on the table. I mentioned the book list I’m working through, preceded to rattle off a bunch of books I really liked and ranted a bit about them. I did the same thing with movies later on. Whenever I find something I really like I tend to recommend or push it onto anyone willing to listen. Whether it’s the latest singer/songwriter I’ve fallen in love with (currently Martha Wainwright, formerly Emiliana Torrini and Fiona Apple before that) a movie, book, comic strip, game, anything high quality, I like to share it with people.

Afterwards this person mentioned that they were impressed and hadn’t met anyone who sounded so interested in things before. (Go me, now I feel silly mentioning it but it’s important to the rest of what I’m writing) This got me thinking about how everyone likes being around somebody impassioned by something. Doesn’t matter what their passionate about, there’s something spectacular about listening to someone talk about something they sincerely love. It gets you excited and lifts your spirits. I think it’s partly because, in this day and age of advertising bombardment, media is making it harder and harder to avoid mediocrity and fake passion (Are you EXCITED about the great deals at the Ford dealership?! I know I’m NOT!). So when someone speaks with pure truthfulness it’s a welcome break, you feel good because it’s such a rare sight.

(I’ve been ignoring my grumbling stomach but I can’t anymore so I’m going to go make soup and a sandwich, I’ll be right back)

Ahhh that was tasty. I also did 30 sit-ups and pushups while waiting for the soup to heat up.

Thirdly, having something to be passionate about is important. I think everyone needs to have some sort of hobby or activity that they love to do. People need more than work and television to live a good life. The most interesting, well balanced people I’ve met are people involved in something. Things like Kung Fu, gymnastics, painting, chess or knitting. (The Pixies song, “Where is my Mind” just randomed on my iTunes, man I love that song) If you are passionate about something share it with people around you. They’ll appreciate it (most of the time).

Anyways, I’m done raving so I think I’ll do some more pushups/sit-ups; use my elliptical machine and the call up some friends to see if they want to do something. It’s only 4:30 and the day is full of potential.

It's a New Year Already?

Happy New Year everyone! {Insert motivational message here}.The UBBT is now officially started so we’ve got 13 months of hard work ahead. I’m excited and looking forward to some of the goals I have on the list. It should be a blast.

Last week I was browsing the blogs and I read an entry by my fellow Silent River Kung Fu’er Graham Robertson. It’s the entry about his roommates reading his blog. I’ve been thinking about similar stuff lately and I wanted to make a comment. That comment got bigger and bigger and I still wanted to expand on it so I thought I may as well make it a journal entry. So if you’re reading this Graham, you started the gears in my head and some of this entry is a response to your journal.

I've mentioned the UBBT and the public journaling goal to some of my friends but I haven't mentioned my blog. It’s only a matter of time till someone asks me how I’m journaling publicly. I’m trying to decide whether I want to give out the address to anyone outside of Kung Fu. For much the same reasons as you I'm hesitant about it, plus there may be some fairly personal stuff I'll write about that I'm not sure I want them to read.

You wrote about how you see Graham and Sifu Robertson as two different people. I keep my Jesse and Sifu personalities pretty separate too but lately I’ve been questioning whether I should (or how much I should at least). After all my private life and my Kung Fu life ARE the same life and they’re both directly influenced by each other. I used to be super secret about my Kung Fu until after the 100^th time a friend asked how my taekwondo class was going and what I’m doing next Monday .

I’d answer: “KUNG FU class, like every Monday and you should know this because I tell you the same thing every Monday.”

Then I realized that if my friends don’t really know what I’m doing with Kung Fu it’s my fault for not being vocal enough about it. Kung Fu is an incredibly important part of my life, it defines me. I started worrying that a huge part of life was either misunderstood or completely ignored. I get frustrated when meeting someone new and that classic, “So what do you do?” question pops up. I do Kung Fu, and it certainly defines me more than my job does, so do I answer that or will they just think I’m showing off? I think martial arts are mostly misunderstood by the general public.

I’m a lot more vocal about Kung Fu now. I still don’t run around broadcasting my accomplishments and whatnot but I do keep my friends up-to-date with what I’m doing. That includes stuff like the UBBT, choreography, projects and the Silent River Benevolent Foundation. Since I’ve become more vocal, I now have two friends going to the Ging Wu School in Edmonton and I notice people taking interest in ideas like pushup goals.

So my whole point, the big question is, where is the line between doing things quietly or with lots of advertising? Can too much humility be a bad thing? Too much boasting is certainly a bad thing so does it work both ways? When we’re talking about inspiring others and changing the world through our actions, how much should be broadcast our actions? You could be doing great things but if nobody knows about it then it ends with you. By rights if we’re trying to inspire others we should be trying to reach as many people as possible. Walking down the sidewalk doing jump kicks, handing out UBBT brochures and yelling motivational slogans might be a bit much though.

How much do you all talk about martial arts to non martial artists? I’m under the impression that most martial artists are fairly humble and keep their actions to themselves. Lately it seems to me like maybe we should talk more about what we are doing and what we’re trying to accomplish to other people in our lives. If anyone is reading this I’m honestly curious what your opinion is, it’s something I’d like a lot of feedback on.