Finally Finals

My last two exams are tomorrow! I've been studying like crazy the past couple weeks. It's going to feel strange being done. I haven't been thinking of anything but exams, I don't even know what I'm going to do during the break. Maybe buy a car if I have the cash, I'll have to do a financial check on myself. TOMORROW IM DONE WEEEEE! I may in fact drink myself into a stupor tomorrow night.

The Dusty Road

I'm sad to see that it's been almost seven months since I posted anythign here. I have no excuses. For some reason I just haven't and I certainly could have. I feel like I haven't had anythign to talk about for ages. Maybe it has something to do the fact that I feel a little embarassed and ashamed with the way things have gone lately. Anyways, here I am, I'll see if i can get back into the habit.

Here's what I've been up to. School. That's it. For the past few months I have been at school for 10 -14 hours almost everyday. Even for 3-4 hours on weekends. When I'm not at school I'm usually working on homwork or procrastinating because I don't feel like fighting with the buses. No vehicle at all anymore so I'm taking the bus everywhere. It sucks. Easily slashes two hours off the day. At first I never got around to buying a car because I didn't have time to look for one. Now I don't think I have the time OR money. I'm broke. The ammount of work I've had to do lately is absolutly rediculous. I swear my program has got to be the only one at NAIT where you can regularily find our entire class staying untill 8pm.

I haven't trained in a few months and as such I believe I'm in the worst shape I've ever been in. When I'm not working on school stuff I spend my free time feeling burnt out, sleeping, vegetating, playing video games or hanging our with friends. I don't even try to make plans for anything anymore. Not much of a social life lately.

This all sounds depressing I'm sure but I still don't want give the impression all is dark and dreary. I do enjoy much of the stuff I'm learning, some of it I'm quite good at, some of it not. I'm happy to almost be done. I'll be in a fantastic position when I can graduate (oh god don't fail) and shouldn't have to worry about careers/cash so much. The thrashing my life has taken is a necessary sacrifice and I don't regret it. Unfortunatly it's only natural that not being around anywhere/contributing to anything must lessen others opionions of me. It really hurts letting people down and loosing prestige. Although I don't feel like apologizing too much. This is the way it has to be... for now. C'est la vie.

As for how long things will continue to go the way they are now? I can't say therefore I won't even guess. Meanwhile I will try to get back to journaling, I'm sure it's good for me. Sorry, I won't have anything interesting to write about. I think I might talk about school and some things no one will understand or care about. I eagerly, with great anticipation, await, can't wait and look forward to Christmas break.